わかりません、どうしてわるいですか。
Don’t understand why things can change so suddenly?In the first place I didn’t have much expectations, only treat her as a nice friend. But don’t understand why for a period of time, when she suddenly receives good news of a new job, she suddenly avoids talking to me? I’m not looking for any explanation or what, maybe perhaps just wanted to share in her good news. Or maybe I’m not worth it as a friend anymore. Even the way she ignores looking at me really make me feel bewildered and sad? Have first tried searching for answers internally, but I couldn’t think of what exactly have I done to have this kind of treatment? Have also tried to clarify with her but just don’t have the courage to prop on further. Maybe the only courage that I have left is to publish here and perhaps hope that things will turn out to be better? Perhaps after reading this, she will just think that I’m too sensitive for her to even bother.
It was also a time of major restructuring for my section, when everybody has doubts over our own directions. Faced with a demanding boss and her ignorance towards me, I felt confused even more.
When I finally decided to just treat her as somebody that I don’t know anymore, she started to talk to me again and I don’t know how to react to her again. I don’t even know whether she still treat me as a friend and I should treat her as a friend again. I can’t take it if a friend suddenly does this to me and I’m left wondering what have I done wrong? Maybe I will just forget about the whole incident since she will be leaving the company soon. Maybe I should have just treat her as a colleague who has crossed paths with me for a period of time? I have previously enjoyed talking and sharing with her my problems, but guess that was just meant to be good memories? But still, deep down..still hope that we are still friends.
Epilogue
She sent me an email last Friday to thank me for being her good confidant. Was touched that she still treated me as a friend, so I replied her that "I am glad to know that and thought that she was angry and asked her to read my blog if she had the time". She saw it and replied me via email that she still treated me as a friend. The main reason for doing so is that she didn’t know how to break her news to me as she was afraid that I would be unhappy. The other reason was afraid that our new boss will view me negatively if we still hanged out together. As I replied to her I already know the news right from the day she got the news so it doesn’t really affect me. In fact, I was happy for her. I guessed that I have thought about these reasons once before, but with uncertainty. But still, it’s great that we have finally solved the misunderstanding, else I would have find it a pity to lose this friendship.
posted by xiaopei @ 3:42 PM
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