~Life of an ordinary gal~

Doubts and more doubts..

Here I am with only 2 more days away to my exam and more and more doubts started to creep into my mind while I'm struggling and trying hard to squeeze all the 5 books' facts (which are equivalent to 5 modules!) into my mind with the hope that I will remember each and every formula and fact listed in the bookson the actual day of the exam. Doubts that floated into my mind:

1) Sheet! What the heck am I doing studying the hell out of my life, while the rest are enjoying their working lives or nuaing. I kept on thinking what my colleagues are doing at work and even thought about the yoga session that I have missed on last Tuesday. Why am I going back to my usual studying days when I have graduated already? That was abit enough to make me feel demoralised.
2) Friends could relax and go out on yesterday evening and today, which is a public holiday while I have to stay at home and stare at my books, fighting against time.
3) Started to have doubts over whether I should have taken up the challenge to take this exam...because the overall certificate will only matter if I have joined the banking sector for at least 3 to 5 years. But at the present moment, still contemplating whether I should even leave my current job. Hey, but taking this exam is the first step to get out of my routine job!
4) The exam stress is starting to take its toll on me...started to have insommia and slight panic attacks over the last few days. Even during undergraduate days, I didn't have such things happening because I have more than sufficient time to prepare. This caused me to doubt whether I can take the high stress level in the financial sector, whether I should just stayed in my present comfort level. Sigh...

Well...but upon thinking back that I have beared with all the studying and sacrificing of personal time to relax for the 6 past months, how can these 3 mere days be compared with that! How can the usual, strong-will me take such a step back and get so easily demoralised? Sigh...enough with the grousing and grumbling...I better go back and hit the books again.

Labels: doubts

posted by xiaopei @ 12:33 PM